quinta-feira, 4 de novembro de 2010

We don't need whys, but here are some reasons why you should.



I remember it was not so cold anymore and we were having this constant Kafeinya pizza mood, and there we were, ordering another one, dear Andrushka just smiled at us. I was waiting for Tati, Syd and Valya, the girl that just travelled to Portugal, I was to teach her some portuguese before I came back home. I had so much fun with that, I'm so proud of this language, it's sweet, soft, and seems to just play along. And winter just ended. So what now? We had gone crazy indeed. How crazier can we get. So there we were, Tati and Syd eating a pizza while I read some Camões to Valya, speaking one portuguese, the sound of it, was already so awakward, I should probably call Sophia and share that horrible feeling. Where did my mother language go? And doesn't Camões sound the same? But as I said, how crazier could we get. Camões left the room. Me, Tati and Syd started to make a list. Actually, we met just to do that. And I'm so proud of this. The list goes.

(It starts at 51 because the "Reasons to have sex" group on facebook had already listed 50).

REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD HAVE SEX

51 - Because he's wearing the tight underwear you gave him.

52 - Because you just bought matrioshka underwear.

53 - Because it's goddam fuckin -30 outside.

54 - Because you're drunk and don't respond for your acts.

55 - Because he has a foreign accent.

56 - Because he's going to the army and leaving the country.

57 - Because you don't want to learn [the russian gramatical] cases.

58 - Because it's [blank] holiday.

59 - Because you finished your sudoku book.

60 - Because you're and atheist and god is not watching you.

61 - Because he's related to Price Harry in 15th degree.


62 - Because it's 3am and you want a cup of water.

63 - Because you're pregnant and you can't get more pregnant.

64 - Because you found the perfect sofa after shopping for sex-favorable sofas.

65 - Because it prevents cancer (what? что за бред?)

66 - Because he gave up being a priest (Thank you, Lord!)

67 - Why not?-feelings

68 - Because you finally found two people that agree.

69 - Because you lived in Kirov and you're in MOSCOW.

70 - Because it's finally spring. And it's APRIL. (You've been waiting since Maslenitsa in February)

71 - Because you finally had the guts to kill the fuckin' cats but it's going to the dacha anyway.

72 - Because you're почему-то covered in shampoo and now you're making out.

73 - Because he's not a rapper (a rapist, smart-o)
Even tho the word rapper is scratched we actually met a russian rapper so yeah. Maybe it shouldn't be scratched at all). And we actually though rapper standed for rappist before Syd arrive - she's american, or as we used to say, ALASKIAN.

74 - Because that random guy had three condoms and there's an empty приезд [stairway]

75 - Because you desesperately want to use the instrumental языком [with tongue]

In russian there are gramatical cases that decline the word. The nominative word of "tongue", without declination, is "yazik", but if ou use the instrumental case, that is needed when you use something to complete and action, the it is "yazikom". We had "yazikom" in my first russian-english phrasebook in the sex part. There was a lot of respect going on for that little book for travelers. This is actually how much you can respect a phrasebook

76 - Because it's made for sharing.

77 - Because Angelina Jolie adopted another kid.

78 - Beucause you found two, and plus you, it's a three-some.

79 - Because they just started making out on TV.

80 - Because his name is not Manfred (in german) or Evilásio (in portuguese)

81 - Because you're coming home after a long time and he said he's gonna tune your guitar, and you really don't care if it's a |G| or a |D|.

82 - Because they're TWINS. Sophia quote: "I've always wanted twins. [pause] Not kids."

83 - Because his dad is hot and he's halfway through.

84 - Because this is how we roll in The Shire.


85 - Because he's in rumspringa.

86 - Because you just witnessed FIVE weddings in Aleksandrovskiy Park and really need to have some imoral sex out of wedlock.

87 - Because he can make sushi (tell Isabela's twin brother priviet)

88 - Because you have [blank] and you're not afraid to use it.

89 - Because you want a place in hell to be reserved for you.

90 - Because he's not wearing a belt.

91 - Because he speaks welsh and raises sheeps.

92 - Because he's not a rapper

Obviously the russian rapper episode didn't go so well and ended awakwardly

93 - Because he started being an orthodox priest.

94 - Because he's a russian that doesn't smoke.

95 - Because he can toss a pizza.

Tati, did I ever mention your weird english vocabulary for a german?

96 - Because he has more than five piercings. And you just decided you like the number five.

97 - Because even tho he isn't russian he always knows the genitive case plural for substantives

More russian grammar involved. You don't want to know about that, it's been known to drive russian learners to deep depression.

98 - Because he wears a turtle neck (but isn't gay)

99 - Because he's a russian sailor.

100 - Because what happens in Russia, stays in Russia. In Russian.



And must I end it, saying: Because someone's gotta be the man. And yes, girls are mean. And we like it.

Last Quote: "I'm doing this AFS presentation and I'm having a hard time finding sober pictures!", Tati

I miss the german part of me.

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