Pular para o conteúdo principal

Depression and the change you can be


A lot of people will say I'm silly, that I have everything: opportunity, privilege, money, a highly helpful Uber app, a nice set of teeth, that I sound like the average western prick that is looking for the meaning of life. Whatever, the point in writing this is bringing up people to speed to a real problem: Stop blaming people for being "sad", "depressed", "down", it can often be a medical condition. I don't mind "feeling naked" if that will help at least one person.
You don't blame anyone for catching the flu, do you? My point.
There is a lot of stigma in medicine. It's our version of racism. What is the "moral ground" for it? The idea that of a sick person is to blame for his/her condition, then we should stigmatize that person. You name it: HIV+ patients, clinical depression, lung cancer. You have done it, I'm sure, at least one time (even if only in your head). I have always taken a deeper interest exactly at this part, because I see a lot of room for social change.
My father was very busy making that sort of change, and while I struggled through my teen years making every cell of my body to hate the profession he had chosen, I ended up doing nothing but the exact same thing he did: I was avid for change, for improvement. I put that in practice every way I could, and still do. Hopefully.
In the year of 2014 I faced the loss of my father, and among other things, even an episode of not being able to feel hungry for weeks (which resulted in -10kg... Unwished for, everyone that knows me knows that I am allergic to dieting!), it took me more than a year to seek the help that I obviously needed. Even though I could lead my life on a normal basis, I saw a lot of my basic functions impaired, and it was affecting my studying. So after a Neurology exam at university, I scheduled a shrink appointment and surprisingly: I was talking to the doctor in less than 2 hours from that phone call. You'd be surprised how psychiatry is neglected in this country (Russia), but that's not an issue I'm going to get in right now. Smirks.
As I started the "one white pill a day" treatment, I started to feel like myself again, I was utterly impressed by how I had forgotten who I really was, like that song says: "You can get addicted to a certain kind of sadness".
A lot of [physical] symptoms were slowly fading as well: neck pain, waking up in the middle of the night, even if for short minutes, worrying (too much) about the future, blaming past situations over and over again, the crying.
It was only after two panic attacks (that resulted in fainting...) and a highly nervous state and a constant one (!) I was able to admit to myself: It's time to tackle this thing...
Two weeks ago I had a really bad episode. I was staring at the ceiling thinking when do the planets align and any of this makes sense. It's quite a dark place to come out from. I did. Because I have the privilege of information, which hopefully, is being somehow delivered to you,too.
Also, I have long been noticing the lack of function on Facebook, so I decided to use it as a tool for something... Useful.
When you stigmatize someone, it says a lot more about yourself than about the person who you've put a target on.
So be better, help yourself or help someone else close to you.
Now, I told you the story of a person that has access to information and medications , but the latter remains no reality for a lot of people. We had a 15-year-old seemingly joyful girl at school who ended up hanging herself. No one EVER suspected anything. Out of all people!
You want to keep on blaming these patients for it, go ahead, but it's sad, only for you, for that matter.
As you were...

Comentários

Postagens mais visitadas deste blog

RIANNE (eu,ich, ja, I, yo), A COLONIZADORA.

Toda criança normal tem como lembrança normal algum parque ou algo extremamente colorido. A primeira lembrança que eu tenho é de um corredor de hotel, uma janela no fim. Depois... Perguntaram-me em New Jersey se o que eu falava era brasileiro ou espanhol, peguei a bicicleta, achei graça e ralei o joelho - não exatamente nessa ordem, mas nada que me impedisse de ir comprar comida chinesa em caixinha do outro lado da rua, eu sempre kept the creeps quanto à vendedora, ela era alta demais pra uma chinesa. Foi nessa época que criei um certo trauma em relação a indianos, o acento indiano é um negócio a se discutir - parei de comer dunkin donuts. Era uma máfia, em todo Dunkin Donut e posto de gasolina só se trabalhava indiano. Admito que só fazia ESL pra perder aula, mas o mundo inteiro precisava sentar em um teatro e ver a cara da Miss Rudek, quando eu, o Hupert (chinês), e a Katrina (mexicana) passamos a ser crianças sem línguas maternas: Havíamos aprendido duas ao mesmo tempo, com um empur

Purple crutches

“I wish you a great future”, then she gave me her hand - similar to a peace offering. She had a simple case of a stomach ulcer, I had patched her up around 3am in our ER, I had simply asked her if there had been any unusual stress in her life lately, to which she replied “I had kids too early, I wish I had done more with my life”. I could feel the courage-fuel she was burning while saying these words. I didn’t give her any speech. Just admiration, and a small part of me smirked at my childhood hoping my mother had realized that sooner. Well, she didn’t. I made my life’s mission to become exactly the opposite of her. As I typed in another ER report for the 27-year-old sitting next to me, I came to an uncomfortable realization: how not often patients wish us anything at all, like we’re not people, like we don’t have feelings. She had wished me as much as a great future - that’s a lot. I hope she knows that’s exactly what I wished her, too. Truth is, I felt like my emotional energy could

Malibu, 2025.

Malibu, 2025. Note to self. It had been already snowing. Awfully early to, but it was Moscow. Normally, after the first snow I’d meet Seda and she would complain about every single aspect of her life and connect it to the snow fall and the coming winter. Now, however, it was just me. I remember I had been looking for emotional sustainability. I, yet, couldn’t find the equivalent of “green, sustainable” for feelings. I was not sure either it was a color. Oh. Right. It was exac tly the things that happened after we graduated that defined us. I died my hair blond, took off to Vienna to meet old affairs and taste the Austrian cuisine (all of it, but I specialized on schnitzels and apfelstrudels). Martin moved with Masha and Domenico to the countryside, after which they became gypsies in the alps. Seda took off with Gennady to the United States in the pursuit of happiness according to the American constitution. I became a vegan after that, but remained blond. Seda ended up working tem